Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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