He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
