My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
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Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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