Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
