Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
