I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
