Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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