she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dick very happy bro
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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