I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
