I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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