Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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