Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
