Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
