It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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