You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
