We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
