I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
