Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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