In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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