All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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