sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
