went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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