hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
