pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
