You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
