First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had sex on a roof
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
