hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
