he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
