I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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