I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize