Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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