Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
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I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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