The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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