So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
