This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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