She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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