if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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