he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
