After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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