Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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