you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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