3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My cat gives me a boner
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
