He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
