My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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