real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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