Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
