ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
