she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
