oh god the rape fog is back!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
