Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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