You're a womanizer and a bitch.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
