It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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