how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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