So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
