lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
