Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
