Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
