we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
