Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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