I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
