I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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