So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
