i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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