I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
