Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
