Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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