I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
