i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
