Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
