If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
