Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
