these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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